I just wrote this paper for my Children's lit class. I love that class! Anyway I thought I would share it, not because I am particularly proud of it, by no means but because of some of the thoughts that it uncovered today. The paper and a conversation with a good friend.
The thought is that sometimes in order for us to discover who we really are, the person that has been there the entire time, there is a need for adventure. An adventure that maybe filled with challenges and the unknown.
However the biggest growth sometimes happens when leave what is comfotable and do something hard. Anyway this is my paper read on if you like it just some thoughts about discovering the hero that IS inside all of us.
The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien has for a long time been one of my favorite books. I remember reading it when I was a child with my mother. We sat in my bunk-bed with my blue starry sheets, reading and reading until my eye lids finally were too heavy to stay open. I would then be lost in my dreams of Middle-Earth. The dreams would be calling me to go on my own adventure. I wanted my own Gandalf to come and beckon me on the epic quest, knowing that it was only my destiny to save Middle-Earth. In my dreams I would travel over the misty mountains, through the dark forests, come out alive from battles with goblins, wood-elves, and dragons. It was a great adventure. Though Gandalf never knocked on my door, there has been that call of adventure. Life itself is an adventure and like Bilbo we all have two options on the table. One to stay safe at home following the same routine, or two, venture outward try new things and like Bilbo discover more about who you are. I have found that in order for a person truly to grow, or at least the most noticeable growth occurs, when faced with a task or trials, an adventure. In a course of an adventure, one like Bilbo had, one can discover that their life has a purpose, that there are interior and exterior struggles that one must overcome. In the end of this adventure whatever it maybe one can discover how much of a hero you really are.
Destiny and fate are two ideas that I haven’t quite rapped my head around fully yet. However, I do believe that we all have a purpose in this life, whether that is by chance or determined I don’t know. In the Hobbit, like many of Tolkien’s other works there is implication that here the hobbits have some mysterious force that allows them and only them to go on these adventures. Only they are able to be the burglar, to get the ring, and later Frodo to carry and destroy the ring. It would be implied by Gandalf’s final speech to Bilbo when Gandalf says: “Surely you don’t disbelieve the prophecies, because you had a hand in bringing them about yourself? You don’t really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit?” that perhaps this was Bilbo’s destiny to succeed. The adventure and success of Bilbo implies to me not so much that our lives are pre-determined but that our lives are meaningful. That what we do matters, and we have a purpose. Life isn’t lived by just sitting in the same routine, that there is something bigger out there that we are intended to do, not just the Bilbo’s but all of us.
Adventures also uncover inner struggles that hold the hero back from realizing the hero that they truly are or intended to be. One struggle that Bilbo faced was the fear of the adventure, the unknown. This can hold so many of us back from going on the adventure that is so desperately needed. Bilbo didn’t know and was rightfully afraid of what could happen with the dwarfs. He didn’t know all that it meant for him to be the burglar. However, somewhere inside him the call for adventure was stronger than the fears of the unknown, the unexpected response of a hobbit. The call was so strong that Bilbo ran to the adventure without his handkerchief or his hat, leaving the comfortable and the expected behind. This ultimately transforms Bilbo from the timid hobbit to a courageous and adventurous persona. Facing the unknown or the unexpected has a tendency to transform us as well, when we overcome the fear.
Bilbo was also faced with many exterior struggles that also revealed to him parts of the hero he was intended to be. First there was the three trolls, where Bilbo is first put to the test. Even though he is not fully successful in this first attempt he learns that heroes can not always be hesitant and that some situations require immediate action. Even though Gandalf did help save them, Bilbo learns that sometimes he is the only hero there and must call up the hero that is inside of him. Then there is the encounter with Gollum and the Goblins where Bilbo uses his own wits and smarts to escape. It is here that there is no one but Bilbo to figure a way out and Bilbo is filled with a larger understanding of what he is capable of. This understanding comes in useful has he is forced to lead and save the dwarfs from the spiders and the wood-elves. By the time Bilbo encounters Smaug he has even more understanding of the hero he is becoming and is able to figure out the weakness of the dragon. Finally Bilbo also is the hero by uniting the dwarfs and men with the negotiation of the Arkenstone. Bilbo demonstrated unselfishness, desire for the ultimate good of all, humility, and bravery. These things are quite a change from the Bilbo from the Shire. Through the external challenges of the adventure Bilbo was able to discover the hero he was.
The adventure that Bilbo Baggins went on uncovered this life of purpose that Bilbo had. It drug him away from his formerly reclusive, indifferent, and leisurely self caught in routine and transformed him into a courageous and adventurous hobbit. The struggles that Bilbo overcame in the adventure awoke the hero that was always there. From the adventure Bilbo emerged as a stronger more multifaceted individual. The Hobbit is a wonderful story of one conquering inner struggles, such as fear, and external challenges. Isn’t that life? We too if we allow ourselves the adventure discover the hero that has always been inside of us.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
WALLS
I was recently sent this quote. I've been reading it over and over again and decided I would put it on this blog. Here it is...
“I made a cloister of my body and a garden of my soul. The stones of the cloister wall were my nights, and my days were the mortar. Year after year, I built the walls. But in the center I made a garden that I left open to heaven, and I invited God to walk there. And God came to me.” Sandoz turned away, trembling. “God came to me–and the rapture of those moments was so pure and so powerful that the cloister walls were leveled. I had no more need for walls. God was my protection. I could look into the face of the wife I would never have, and love all wives. I could look into the face of the husband I would never be, and love all husbands. I could dance at weddings because I was wedded to God, and all the children were mine.”-Mary Doria Russellfrom "Children of God"
I think the reason I'm so haunted by these beautiful words is because I recognize my own walls that I have built over the years. It's sobering, really, to acknowledge such a thing, but the honesty of doing that allows the Spirit to intervene in ways only the Spirit can. I like how Mary Doria Russell writes that Sandoz left an opening in the top for heaven and invited God to come into her garden. And because of such a wise thing to do, the walls she had built over the years came crumbling down; walls were no longer needed because God was her protection. Because of this, she could have intimacy with people she had never experienced before.
As I used this metaphor during my prayer time, I began to think about the walls I have built up. I know they are there. But, I began to ponder where I have sensed God. Is he coming from on high down into my garden? Where is He?
If I were honest, and I'm attempting to be that in this post (and vulnerable), I would say that I have sensed the Lord on the outside of my walls. Circling my walls. Like at Jericho; marching around and around and around. I see the trumpet at his side and they make me curious. I know He's up to something, but what is it? Because I know the story well, I have this sense He is going to do something wild and, with one loud blow on the trumpet, will knock down my walls and storm my city.
That's why I like this quote. In this quote, God doesn't storm the city demanding to come in. God comes to the center of the garden and, as a result of the intimacy there, the walls crumble and are no longer necessary. Bringing the walls down from within is such a better picture than attacking the walls from the outside and demanding access to the garden of my soul.
What about you? You probably have walls up also. Most people do. They come as a result of the harshness of life. The loss of a job. The illness of someone close to you. The sting of a relationship gone sour. Like Nehemiah, we build walls to protect our city from being sacked by those outside not worthy of trust. Yet, the Lord is one to be trusted. He is the one that comes to bind up the brokenhearted. It says so in scripture. So, how do we allow that to take place? In my warped picture, Jesus was on the outside of my walls because I put him there. He got put there with all the others. I guess I didn't mean to do it, but I did. Oh, and BTW, I'm a lousy wall builder.
So, I've decided to work on the garden....literally. I'm going outside to work on the lawn… that is raking the leaves. But also I got challenged this last week to spend 30 min everyday in quiet with God. Yikes! I tell myself this is a lot of time but I know how much I need this time. So far this experiment has been really rewarding. This time alone has invited Him draw close and give him access to my garden; to tend to the vineyard of my soul.
“I made a cloister of my body and a garden of my soul. The stones of the cloister wall were my nights, and my days were the mortar. Year after year, I built the walls. But in the center I made a garden that I left open to heaven, and I invited God to walk there. And God came to me.” Sandoz turned away, trembling. “God came to me–and the rapture of those moments was so pure and so powerful that the cloister walls were leveled. I had no more need for walls. God was my protection. I could look into the face of the wife I would never have, and love all wives. I could look into the face of the husband I would never be, and love all husbands. I could dance at weddings because I was wedded to God, and all the children were mine.”-Mary Doria Russellfrom "Children of God"
I think the reason I'm so haunted by these beautiful words is because I recognize my own walls that I have built over the years. It's sobering, really, to acknowledge such a thing, but the honesty of doing that allows the Spirit to intervene in ways only the Spirit can. I like how Mary Doria Russell writes that Sandoz left an opening in the top for heaven and invited God to come into her garden. And because of such a wise thing to do, the walls she had built over the years came crumbling down; walls were no longer needed because God was her protection. Because of this, she could have intimacy with people she had never experienced before.
As I used this metaphor during my prayer time, I began to think about the walls I have built up. I know they are there. But, I began to ponder where I have sensed God. Is he coming from on high down into my garden? Where is He?
If I were honest, and I'm attempting to be that in this post (and vulnerable), I would say that I have sensed the Lord on the outside of my walls. Circling my walls. Like at Jericho; marching around and around and around. I see the trumpet at his side and they make me curious. I know He's up to something, but what is it? Because I know the story well, I have this sense He is going to do something wild and, with one loud blow on the trumpet, will knock down my walls and storm my city.
That's why I like this quote. In this quote, God doesn't storm the city demanding to come in. God comes to the center of the garden and, as a result of the intimacy there, the walls crumble and are no longer necessary. Bringing the walls down from within is such a better picture than attacking the walls from the outside and demanding access to the garden of my soul.
What about you? You probably have walls up also. Most people do. They come as a result of the harshness of life. The loss of a job. The illness of someone close to you. The sting of a relationship gone sour. Like Nehemiah, we build walls to protect our city from being sacked by those outside not worthy of trust. Yet, the Lord is one to be trusted. He is the one that comes to bind up the brokenhearted. It says so in scripture. So, how do we allow that to take place? In my warped picture, Jesus was on the outside of my walls because I put him there. He got put there with all the others. I guess I didn't mean to do it, but I did. Oh, and BTW, I'm a lousy wall builder.
So, I've decided to work on the garden....literally. I'm going outside to work on the lawn… that is raking the leaves. But also I got challenged this last week to spend 30 min everyday in quiet with God. Yikes! I tell myself this is a lot of time but I know how much I need this time. So far this experiment has been really rewarding. This time alone has invited Him draw close and give him access to my garden; to tend to the vineyard of my soul.
Friday, September 25, 2009
EXAMINE
Yesterday I was getting ready for school. I stopped to look in the mirror. One of those close kind of looks where I stopped and really examined what I saw.
Most people do this kind of thing. Doctors examine their patients to draw conclusions. Economists watch the Dow and all sorts of other numbers to make decisions regarding their money. Farmers examine their crops and dairy men and women examine their cattle. Teachers examine to see if their students are on pace or not. Pretty much every line of work takes a step back to examine the current realities and reflect on the state or condition of whatever it is that they care about.
So, I have to ask an important question....why are some so opposed to examining the state of the church? I have actually heard some say that we should STOP discussing the state of the church or how people "do" or "are" church.
Since I have a high view of scripture (but honestly don’t read it as much as I would like), I want to take one to step back and read what happens in it to see that God is forever examining the state of his people; which is the church to begin with. In the Old Testament, God sends numerous prophets because God's people were NOT where they were supposed to be. In Isaiah 1 this is what it says:
"Quit your worship charades. I cant' stand your trivial religious games: Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings - meetings, meetings, meetings - I can't stand one more! Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them! You've worn me out! I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning. When you put on your next prayer-performance, I'll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud of often you pray, I'll not be listening. And do you know why? Because you've been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody. Go home and wash up. Clean up your act. Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings so I don't have to look at them any longer. Say no to wrong. Learn to do good. Work for justice. Help the down-and-out. Stand up for the homeless. Go to bat for the defenseless." Isaiah 1:13-17 The Message
Of course, people do not like to hear the voice of the prophet. Most prophets were stoned to death because God's people did not want to hear what the examination revealed; their religion had trumped what God really cares and about what he chose His people for from the very beginning; to be a light to all the nations of the world.
Jesus, himself, comes on the stage and gives an examination of the state of God's people. He was a prophet, like Isaiah, but more than just a mere human prophet. He was a prophet in that he proclaimed on behalf of God. However, he was God incarnate so His words/actions came directly to the people. For 3 years, Jesus did a show and tell for his followers. He showed them, through actions, what was important and who was important and then he told them and explained to them why he did what he did and on whose behalf. A large group of God's people began to follow Jesus. However, there were those that did NOT want to hear and see what the examination of them revealed. White washed tombs. No life. No care for those perishing. Care for maintenance of their religion they created. A self serving posture. Jesus examined it, revealed it, and it sent him to the cross because of it. They didn't want to hear the results.
There is also the Apostle John who examined God's people, or the church. I find that there is something very interesting in Revelations. Many use this book as some kind of road map to the end of the world. (For a compelling tension on this view, watch the movie The Knowing with Nicolas Cage!!!) However, John was writing to 7 churches. And he was giving these 7 churches an examination. This is what he says in Revelation 3:20-21:
"Look at me. I stand at the door and knock. I f you hear me call and open the door, I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you. Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head of the table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father. that's my gift to the conquerors! Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches."
This book/verse is not addressing those that don't know God; the unbeliever asking Jesus to come into their hearts after hearing a knock from the Lord at their door. This is addressing the church that Jesus finds himself OUTSIDE OF wanting to come back in!
It seems that the Apostle Paul also examined the state of the church as each epistle was a letter written to specific "churches" addressing very specific areas, issues, and people.
Again, so I have to ask, why are we so fearful of examining and reflecting on the state of any church? Examination is an act of love. It's not one of disdain. It's speaking the truth in a spirit of love to make whatever we are examining better, healthier, more productive, and what it was intended to become.
I would rather be on the side of the examination than the side of those refusing to be examined. When I hear the Psalmist write that he wants to be searched and known by God; examined to see if there is any wayward, offensive way within him, I see a desire of intimacy on his part with God. He doesn't run from examination, he pleads for it.
I guess the way we can tell which side we're on; whether we welcome examination or refuse it would be for us to notice what happens when people examine "our" church and what happens internally. Do we get defensive? Do we argue? Do we shift the examining gaze from us and point the gaze to some other place? Do we negate the exam?
The institutional church is under a huge spot light these days. From people within it and from people that don't attend. Will we listen to them and what their "examination" of the state of the church? Or will plug up our ears and refuse to listen proclaiming things are just fine and we're all good? What about the Lord? Will we ask him to search us, as His church...His bride that he will forever be examining and purifying? To know us? To reveal to us where we have erred?
It's time for the church, as God's people, to don the blue smock, with the open back and go in for an examination once again. We need to open the doors so the Spirit can blow through the churches once again. We need to listen to the voice of the prophet instead of picking up a rock to throw at him or her. We need to so that the Kingdom of heaven can move forward.
Most people do this kind of thing. Doctors examine their patients to draw conclusions. Economists watch the Dow and all sorts of other numbers to make decisions regarding their money. Farmers examine their crops and dairy men and women examine their cattle. Teachers examine to see if their students are on pace or not. Pretty much every line of work takes a step back to examine the current realities and reflect on the state or condition of whatever it is that they care about.
So, I have to ask an important question....why are some so opposed to examining the state of the church? I have actually heard some say that we should STOP discussing the state of the church or how people "do" or "are" church.
Since I have a high view of scripture (but honestly don’t read it as much as I would like), I want to take one to step back and read what happens in it to see that God is forever examining the state of his people; which is the church to begin with. In the Old Testament, God sends numerous prophets because God's people were NOT where they were supposed to be. In Isaiah 1 this is what it says:
"Quit your worship charades. I cant' stand your trivial religious games: Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings - meetings, meetings, meetings - I can't stand one more! Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them! You've worn me out! I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning. When you put on your next prayer-performance, I'll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud of often you pray, I'll not be listening. And do you know why? Because you've been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody. Go home and wash up. Clean up your act. Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings so I don't have to look at them any longer. Say no to wrong. Learn to do good. Work for justice. Help the down-and-out. Stand up for the homeless. Go to bat for the defenseless." Isaiah 1:13-17 The Message
Of course, people do not like to hear the voice of the prophet. Most prophets were stoned to death because God's people did not want to hear what the examination revealed; their religion had trumped what God really cares and about what he chose His people for from the very beginning; to be a light to all the nations of the world.
Jesus, himself, comes on the stage and gives an examination of the state of God's people. He was a prophet, like Isaiah, but more than just a mere human prophet. He was a prophet in that he proclaimed on behalf of God. However, he was God incarnate so His words/actions came directly to the people. For 3 years, Jesus did a show and tell for his followers. He showed them, through actions, what was important and who was important and then he told them and explained to them why he did what he did and on whose behalf. A large group of God's people began to follow Jesus. However, there were those that did NOT want to hear and see what the examination of them revealed. White washed tombs. No life. No care for those perishing. Care for maintenance of their religion they created. A self serving posture. Jesus examined it, revealed it, and it sent him to the cross because of it. They didn't want to hear the results.
There is also the Apostle John who examined God's people, or the church. I find that there is something very interesting in Revelations. Many use this book as some kind of road map to the end of the world. (For a compelling tension on this view, watch the movie The Knowing with Nicolas Cage!!!) However, John was writing to 7 churches. And he was giving these 7 churches an examination. This is what he says in Revelation 3:20-21:
"Look at me. I stand at the door and knock. I f you hear me call and open the door, I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you. Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head of the table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father. that's my gift to the conquerors! Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches."
This book/verse is not addressing those that don't know God; the unbeliever asking Jesus to come into their hearts after hearing a knock from the Lord at their door. This is addressing the church that Jesus finds himself OUTSIDE OF wanting to come back in!
It seems that the Apostle Paul also examined the state of the church as each epistle was a letter written to specific "churches" addressing very specific areas, issues, and people.
Again, so I have to ask, why are we so fearful of examining and reflecting on the state of any church? Examination is an act of love. It's not one of disdain. It's speaking the truth in a spirit of love to make whatever we are examining better, healthier, more productive, and what it was intended to become.
I would rather be on the side of the examination than the side of those refusing to be examined. When I hear the Psalmist write that he wants to be searched and known by God; examined to see if there is any wayward, offensive way within him, I see a desire of intimacy on his part with God. He doesn't run from examination, he pleads for it.
I guess the way we can tell which side we're on; whether we welcome examination or refuse it would be for us to notice what happens when people examine "our" church and what happens internally. Do we get defensive? Do we argue? Do we shift the examining gaze from us and point the gaze to some other place? Do we negate the exam?
The institutional church is under a huge spot light these days. From people within it and from people that don't attend. Will we listen to them and what their "examination" of the state of the church? Or will plug up our ears and refuse to listen proclaiming things are just fine and we're all good? What about the Lord? Will we ask him to search us, as His church...His bride that he will forever be examining and purifying? To know us? To reveal to us where we have erred?
It's time for the church, as God's people, to don the blue smock, with the open back and go in for an examination once again. We need to open the doors so the Spirit can blow through the churches once again. We need to listen to the voice of the prophet instead of picking up a rock to throw at him or her. We need to so that the Kingdom of heaven can move forward.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
books and church!
So today I sat outside of Steamers Coffeehouse reading a book that I needed to read for a class. “Holes” actually! Ya, I know, but hey that’s why I am taking a children’s literature class. I get to read fun books like that for homework. That’s what college is all about. It was quite a day. It ended up being like a story reading on the streets of five parks. I had employees of steamers, which are developmentally disabled and kids from the neighborhood sitting around me as I read aloud chapter after chapter in my book. It made me remember the days of when I was a kid listening to people read books aloud to me as my imagination and thoughts got to be free. There's really nothing like a good book. The plot, the character development, the setting, tone, and mood can almost be felt with each page. One can visualize what people look like, how the characters must feel, and attempt to predict where things are going. Page turners...there's nothing like them! When I read the Lord of the Rings series one summer, I found myself lost in the stories and did whatever it took to finish each one. Reading The Chronicles of Narnia can make me feel like I too am in Narnia, turning each page to find out what happens next. I was recently given Dune to read and even there I found myself drawn into the story, flying through each page just to see what would happen next.
Then there's the bad books. The ones that are painful to read. 2 dimensional characters, cliché verbiage, and a story line that's lacking any sort of tension; except for the tension headache I get from reading them. Usually, I just quit reading them after awhile; knowing it's not going anywhere.
The reason I'm writing about reading and the joys and pitfalls of reading a good book is because I can’t help but compare reading books and church. (Yes church has been on my mind a lot recently!) Look at what the apostle Paul writes about in 2 Corinthians 3:1-6, this is the Message translation:
"Does it sound like we're patting ourselves on the back, insisting on our credentials, asserting our authority? Well, we're not. Neither do we need letters of endorsement, either to you or from you. You yourselves are all the endorsement we need. Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ himself wrote it-not with ink, but with God's living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives-and we publish it. We couldn't be more sure of ourselves in this-that you, written by Christ himself for God, are our letter of recommendation. We wouldn't think of writing this kind of letter about ourselves. Only God can write such a letter. His letter authorizes us to help carry out this new plan of action. The plan wasn't written out with ink on paper, with pages and pages of legal footnotes, killing your spirit. It's written with Spirit on spirit, his life on our lives!"
In essence, Paul is saying that the Corinthians are letters that are read by everyone. We become the written word or message from God himself to other people to read...his life on our lives. Paul didn't say the Corinthians were books, but used letters, but I think it can be said that his point was that people should be able to read us and, somehow, be an endorsement of a very living and active God. However, here's the thing I want to know...if our lives were an exciting story to be read by people, then what's wrong? It seems the general public doesn't want to read the Christian Series called "Us." They may have looked at the front and back cover to get a synopsis, but won't venture very far in to read further. Their response a shoulder shrug and a "hmph" and on to some other section in the library.
It would be easy to say that the problem is them; they are not readers. Or, if they are, they like to read junk. However, I don't think it's that simple. Perhaps our lives are not communicating the very live, active, transforming work of the Spirit of Jesus. Perhaps we are 2 dimensional, cliche-ish, and lack a compelling story line. If our lives in Christ are not page turners for others, we should do some deep reflection.
I know when I read a good book, I like to buy a copy and pass it on to others KNOWING they will like to read it too. For those of us that claim to follow Jesus, do we have people that don't know Jesus wanting us to meet their friends? Jesus was such a compelling "read" that many people, after hearing him teach, would want to invite him into their homes to meet their other friends so they can hear what they heard.
Can you say that your life, as you are living right now, is reflecting a God that is active, loving, merciful, risky, and compassionate? When people that don't know Jesus meet you, do they want to read more?
Then there's the bad books. The ones that are painful to read. 2 dimensional characters, cliché verbiage, and a story line that's lacking any sort of tension; except for the tension headache I get from reading them. Usually, I just quit reading them after awhile; knowing it's not going anywhere.
The reason I'm writing about reading and the joys and pitfalls of reading a good book is because I can’t help but compare reading books and church. (Yes church has been on my mind a lot recently!) Look at what the apostle Paul writes about in 2 Corinthians 3:1-6, this is the Message translation:
"Does it sound like we're patting ourselves on the back, insisting on our credentials, asserting our authority? Well, we're not. Neither do we need letters of endorsement, either to you or from you. You yourselves are all the endorsement we need. Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ himself wrote it-not with ink, but with God's living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives-and we publish it. We couldn't be more sure of ourselves in this-that you, written by Christ himself for God, are our letter of recommendation. We wouldn't think of writing this kind of letter about ourselves. Only God can write such a letter. His letter authorizes us to help carry out this new plan of action. The plan wasn't written out with ink on paper, with pages and pages of legal footnotes, killing your spirit. It's written with Spirit on spirit, his life on our lives!"
In essence, Paul is saying that the Corinthians are letters that are read by everyone. We become the written word or message from God himself to other people to read...his life on our lives. Paul didn't say the Corinthians were books, but used letters, but I think it can be said that his point was that people should be able to read us and, somehow, be an endorsement of a very living and active God. However, here's the thing I want to know...if our lives were an exciting story to be read by people, then what's wrong? It seems the general public doesn't want to read the Christian Series called "Us." They may have looked at the front and back cover to get a synopsis, but won't venture very far in to read further. Their response a shoulder shrug and a "hmph" and on to some other section in the library.
It would be easy to say that the problem is them; they are not readers. Or, if they are, they like to read junk. However, I don't think it's that simple. Perhaps our lives are not communicating the very live, active, transforming work of the Spirit of Jesus. Perhaps we are 2 dimensional, cliche-ish, and lack a compelling story line. If our lives in Christ are not page turners for others, we should do some deep reflection.
I know when I read a good book, I like to buy a copy and pass it on to others KNOWING they will like to read it too. For those of us that claim to follow Jesus, do we have people that don't know Jesus wanting us to meet their friends? Jesus was such a compelling "read" that many people, after hearing him teach, would want to invite him into their homes to meet their other friends so they can hear what they heard.
Can you say that your life, as you are living right now, is reflecting a God that is active, loving, merciful, risky, and compassionate? When people that don't know Jesus meet you, do they want to read more?
Sunday, September 13, 2009
church thoughts?
I have been one that has found myself angry frustrated and critical of the church. There has been several stories in my life that have left me hurt and angry at the church that I was going to at that time. Many of these made me question, why church, what is church supposed to be, was this how God intended it? If so do I want to follow this God?
For example in my life I have been told that a job of women is to be quiet and not ask questions in church? That I could not lead or be in ministry but needed to show this guy how to do this so he can do it during church and not me because I was a woman. I was told that I didn’t have my priorities straight and that I needed to stop hanging out with those friends, and hang out with these girls, and that soccer was too important to me and so I needed to quit so I could make it to all the church functions. I was even told that because I didn’t read my Bible that week I was no longer a Christian. I remember going to new church and walking in the doors of a new church and seeing the existing cliques of friends, and sitting alone. Another church welcomed me but only for a month then I was alone and I wasn’t like the cool kids at that church. I couldn’t play an instrument or sing in the worship band. I wasn’t well liked by their intern who had favorites in her small group and I wasn’t one of them.
I saw churches do things I didn’t understand how a church could do something like that like remove a staff member who had 5 kids, just widowed and was struggling to feed her family. How could they just take away her job at the church. Wasn’t church supposed to help those in need.
After all of these things I didn’t want to go to church. I became angry and bitter to those people and I remember saying that I just won’t go, see how they like that. I thought that it would matter to them. In fact no one even really noticed that I didn’t go to church except for me. I didn’t go for an entire year.
I wanted the church to be the living body of Christ so that when new people would walk into that they would see Christ embodied by the people there. That the aroma of Jesus would be there, people could see others giving to those in need in that community and the community outside those walls. That it wasn’t about them coming to get what they wanted out of church but giving even when its hard. If people could see differences in people gifts being celebrated and used instead of just worship. If it wasn’t about just good leadership but a good congregation. There were so many things that I wanted to see if the church could step out of all that I have seen it be. However, I wasn’t doing anything to help I was just like those that I was frustrated with. I was selfish and I didn’t go thinking it was all about me and they would notice if I was not there. Well again no one knew.
That was me three years ago, which is not long ago. After this long year of not going to church I came here to 4C’s because a professor of mine believed in me and thought that I could work in a church. I didn’t want to go to church and then I am deciding to come and work at a church discipline high school students. I wanted to have it all together to be seen as correct in the eyes of the church this time wanting to get it right. Be the leader I never got. To be the change that never got to happen. Have I got it all right…heck no! Have I changed a lot of what I wanted…no! Again its not about ME changing the church! Its about US choosing to look at church in a whole new way. A way that is not about consuming church but us participating in church.
Let me talk about this church briefly. This church has given me a time of healing through the brokenness. Really a time of forgiveness because church is run by people that are just like me, imperfect, searching for answers to this God thing, and getting life wrong at times. Its going to make mistakes. Have I made mistakes as a youth leader…yes! I am sorry for all the times I didn’t call someone back, or said the absolute wrong thing during coffee. There are probably things that I have done or haven’t done that have hurt people. I am not perfect.
Has this church done something that frustrated you? Angered you? Ya probably! Maybe we aren’t entertaining enough. Maybe you liked it better when we did things that way or this way.
You have a choice just like I did when the church frustrated me, angered me, whatever you feel…you can either say well I just won’t go, or they will figure it out I am not going to do anything differently. Or you can be that change that you want to see. You could tell a leader what you desire for this church for this community. Perhaps you see a need outside these doors and want have us go downtown and talk and serve to homeless people. Perhaps you know of a family that needs extra help and would like the church to help out. There are so many things that are going unnoticed by all of us. Could we start to look more like the church that Jesus would want? Is that too hard?
I was listening to a song during worship and I related it to maybe this is what church could look like.
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
God didn’t give up on us he never lets go of us, maybe we aren’t to be so quick to give up on the church. Every church has its calm moments, moments where its on the mountain top, those are easy! But what about the storms or the low times do we just leave? That’s not what God has done for us.
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Yes there is a light coming for all of us and for this church here. There will be an end to this transition. But will we continue to gather and to praise him? Will we continue to trust in God’s will for this church?
So my hope is that we can become more of a participant in church rather than just consuming it. That we can understand that church isn’t about me and what I can get, or don’t get. Its not about getting angry and frustrated. That each of us are this church and are we willing to be the Body of Christ.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
A song!
Sometimes there is a song that you hear that brings you right back to somepoint in your life and reminds of those feelings that you had. I was reading tonight heard this song and really listened to the lyrics...I remember...
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who i was
Used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt-side too
But i'm not who I was
I Found my way around
To foriving you, sometime ago
But I never got to tell you
So..
I found us in a photograph
Saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
Ooo, there you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who i was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
Ooo.
I reckon it's a funny thing
Figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who i was
I write about love and such
Maybe because I want it so much
I'm not who i was
I was thinkin' maybe I,
I Should let you know
That I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Ooo, a-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
But the thing that I find most amazing,
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who i was
Well then...who am I now? Who do I want to be? What do I want to show? But in all truth...who am I?
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who i was
Used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt-side too
But i'm not who I was
I Found my way around
To foriving you, sometime ago
But I never got to tell you
So..
I found us in a photograph
Saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
Ooo, there you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who i was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
Ooo.
I reckon it's a funny thing
Figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who i was
I write about love and such
Maybe because I want it so much
I'm not who i was
I was thinkin' maybe I,
I Should let you know
That I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Ooo, a-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
But the thing that I find most amazing,
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who i was
Well then...who am I now? Who do I want to be? What do I want to show? But in all truth...who am I?
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