I just wrote this paper for my Children's lit class. I love that class! Anyway I thought I would share it, not because I am particularly proud of it, by no means but because of some of the thoughts that it uncovered today. The paper and a conversation with a good friend.
The thought is that sometimes in order for us to discover who we really are, the person that has been there the entire time, there is a need for adventure. An adventure that maybe filled with challenges and the unknown.
However the biggest growth sometimes happens when leave what is comfotable and do something hard. Anyway this is my paper read on if you like it just some thoughts about discovering the hero that IS inside all of us.
The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien has for a long time been one of my favorite books. I remember reading it when I was a child with my mother. We sat in my bunk-bed with my blue starry sheets, reading and reading until my eye lids finally were too heavy to stay open. I would then be lost in my dreams of Middle-Earth. The dreams would be calling me to go on my own adventure. I wanted my own Gandalf to come and beckon me on the epic quest, knowing that it was only my destiny to save Middle-Earth. In my dreams I would travel over the misty mountains, through the dark forests, come out alive from battles with goblins, wood-elves, and dragons. It was a great adventure. Though Gandalf never knocked on my door, there has been that call of adventure. Life itself is an adventure and like Bilbo we all have two options on the table. One to stay safe at home following the same routine, or two, venture outward try new things and like Bilbo discover more about who you are. I have found that in order for a person truly to grow, or at least the most noticeable growth occurs, when faced with a task or trials, an adventure. In a course of an adventure, one like Bilbo had, one can discover that their life has a purpose, that there are interior and exterior struggles that one must overcome. In the end of this adventure whatever it maybe one can discover how much of a hero you really are.
Destiny and fate are two ideas that I haven’t quite rapped my head around fully yet. However, I do believe that we all have a purpose in this life, whether that is by chance or determined I don’t know. In the Hobbit, like many of Tolkien’s other works there is implication that here the hobbits have some mysterious force that allows them and only them to go on these adventures. Only they are able to be the burglar, to get the ring, and later Frodo to carry and destroy the ring. It would be implied by Gandalf’s final speech to Bilbo when Gandalf says: “Surely you don’t disbelieve the prophecies, because you had a hand in bringing them about yourself? You don’t really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit?” that perhaps this was Bilbo’s destiny to succeed. The adventure and success of Bilbo implies to me not so much that our lives are pre-determined but that our lives are meaningful. That what we do matters, and we have a purpose. Life isn’t lived by just sitting in the same routine, that there is something bigger out there that we are intended to do, not just the Bilbo’s but all of us.
Adventures also uncover inner struggles that hold the hero back from realizing the hero that they truly are or intended to be. One struggle that Bilbo faced was the fear of the adventure, the unknown. This can hold so many of us back from going on the adventure that is so desperately needed. Bilbo didn’t know and was rightfully afraid of what could happen with the dwarfs. He didn’t know all that it meant for him to be the burglar. However, somewhere inside him the call for adventure was stronger than the fears of the unknown, the unexpected response of a hobbit. The call was so strong that Bilbo ran to the adventure without his handkerchief or his hat, leaving the comfortable and the expected behind. This ultimately transforms Bilbo from the timid hobbit to a courageous and adventurous persona. Facing the unknown or the unexpected has a tendency to transform us as well, when we overcome the fear.
Bilbo was also faced with many exterior struggles that also revealed to him parts of the hero he was intended to be. First there was the three trolls, where Bilbo is first put to the test. Even though he is not fully successful in this first attempt he learns that heroes can not always be hesitant and that some situations require immediate action. Even though Gandalf did help save them, Bilbo learns that sometimes he is the only hero there and must call up the hero that is inside of him. Then there is the encounter with Gollum and the Goblins where Bilbo uses his own wits and smarts to escape. It is here that there is no one but Bilbo to figure a way out and Bilbo is filled with a larger understanding of what he is capable of. This understanding comes in useful has he is forced to lead and save the dwarfs from the spiders and the wood-elves. By the time Bilbo encounters Smaug he has even more understanding of the hero he is becoming and is able to figure out the weakness of the dragon. Finally Bilbo also is the hero by uniting the dwarfs and men with the negotiation of the Arkenstone. Bilbo demonstrated unselfishness, desire for the ultimate good of all, humility, and bravery. These things are quite a change from the Bilbo from the Shire. Through the external challenges of the adventure Bilbo was able to discover the hero he was.
The adventure that Bilbo Baggins went on uncovered this life of purpose that Bilbo had. It drug him away from his formerly reclusive, indifferent, and leisurely self caught in routine and transformed him into a courageous and adventurous hobbit. The struggles that Bilbo overcame in the adventure awoke the hero that was always there. From the adventure Bilbo emerged as a stronger more multifaceted individual. The Hobbit is a wonderful story of one conquering inner struggles, such as fear, and external challenges. Isn’t that life? We too if we allow ourselves the adventure discover the hero that has always been inside of us.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
WALLS
I was recently sent this quote. I've been reading it over and over again and decided I would put it on this blog. Here it is...
“I made a cloister of my body and a garden of my soul. The stones of the cloister wall were my nights, and my days were the mortar. Year after year, I built the walls. But in the center I made a garden that I left open to heaven, and I invited God to walk there. And God came to me.” Sandoz turned away, trembling. “God came to me–and the rapture of those moments was so pure and so powerful that the cloister walls were leveled. I had no more need for walls. God was my protection. I could look into the face of the wife I would never have, and love all wives. I could look into the face of the husband I would never be, and love all husbands. I could dance at weddings because I was wedded to God, and all the children were mine.”-Mary Doria Russellfrom "Children of God"
I think the reason I'm so haunted by these beautiful words is because I recognize my own walls that I have built over the years. It's sobering, really, to acknowledge such a thing, but the honesty of doing that allows the Spirit to intervene in ways only the Spirit can. I like how Mary Doria Russell writes that Sandoz left an opening in the top for heaven and invited God to come into her garden. And because of such a wise thing to do, the walls she had built over the years came crumbling down; walls were no longer needed because God was her protection. Because of this, she could have intimacy with people she had never experienced before.
As I used this metaphor during my prayer time, I began to think about the walls I have built up. I know they are there. But, I began to ponder where I have sensed God. Is he coming from on high down into my garden? Where is He?
If I were honest, and I'm attempting to be that in this post (and vulnerable), I would say that I have sensed the Lord on the outside of my walls. Circling my walls. Like at Jericho; marching around and around and around. I see the trumpet at his side and they make me curious. I know He's up to something, but what is it? Because I know the story well, I have this sense He is going to do something wild and, with one loud blow on the trumpet, will knock down my walls and storm my city.
That's why I like this quote. In this quote, God doesn't storm the city demanding to come in. God comes to the center of the garden and, as a result of the intimacy there, the walls crumble and are no longer necessary. Bringing the walls down from within is such a better picture than attacking the walls from the outside and demanding access to the garden of my soul.
What about you? You probably have walls up also. Most people do. They come as a result of the harshness of life. The loss of a job. The illness of someone close to you. The sting of a relationship gone sour. Like Nehemiah, we build walls to protect our city from being sacked by those outside not worthy of trust. Yet, the Lord is one to be trusted. He is the one that comes to bind up the brokenhearted. It says so in scripture. So, how do we allow that to take place? In my warped picture, Jesus was on the outside of my walls because I put him there. He got put there with all the others. I guess I didn't mean to do it, but I did. Oh, and BTW, I'm a lousy wall builder.
So, I've decided to work on the garden....literally. I'm going outside to work on the lawn… that is raking the leaves. But also I got challenged this last week to spend 30 min everyday in quiet with God. Yikes! I tell myself this is a lot of time but I know how much I need this time. So far this experiment has been really rewarding. This time alone has invited Him draw close and give him access to my garden; to tend to the vineyard of my soul.
“I made a cloister of my body and a garden of my soul. The stones of the cloister wall were my nights, and my days were the mortar. Year after year, I built the walls. But in the center I made a garden that I left open to heaven, and I invited God to walk there. And God came to me.” Sandoz turned away, trembling. “God came to me–and the rapture of those moments was so pure and so powerful that the cloister walls were leveled. I had no more need for walls. God was my protection. I could look into the face of the wife I would never have, and love all wives. I could look into the face of the husband I would never be, and love all husbands. I could dance at weddings because I was wedded to God, and all the children were mine.”-Mary Doria Russellfrom "Children of God"
I think the reason I'm so haunted by these beautiful words is because I recognize my own walls that I have built over the years. It's sobering, really, to acknowledge such a thing, but the honesty of doing that allows the Spirit to intervene in ways only the Spirit can. I like how Mary Doria Russell writes that Sandoz left an opening in the top for heaven and invited God to come into her garden. And because of such a wise thing to do, the walls she had built over the years came crumbling down; walls were no longer needed because God was her protection. Because of this, she could have intimacy with people she had never experienced before.
As I used this metaphor during my prayer time, I began to think about the walls I have built up. I know they are there. But, I began to ponder where I have sensed God. Is he coming from on high down into my garden? Where is He?
If I were honest, and I'm attempting to be that in this post (and vulnerable), I would say that I have sensed the Lord on the outside of my walls. Circling my walls. Like at Jericho; marching around and around and around. I see the trumpet at his side and they make me curious. I know He's up to something, but what is it? Because I know the story well, I have this sense He is going to do something wild and, with one loud blow on the trumpet, will knock down my walls and storm my city.
That's why I like this quote. In this quote, God doesn't storm the city demanding to come in. God comes to the center of the garden and, as a result of the intimacy there, the walls crumble and are no longer necessary. Bringing the walls down from within is such a better picture than attacking the walls from the outside and demanding access to the garden of my soul.
What about you? You probably have walls up also. Most people do. They come as a result of the harshness of life. The loss of a job. The illness of someone close to you. The sting of a relationship gone sour. Like Nehemiah, we build walls to protect our city from being sacked by those outside not worthy of trust. Yet, the Lord is one to be trusted. He is the one that comes to bind up the brokenhearted. It says so in scripture. So, how do we allow that to take place? In my warped picture, Jesus was on the outside of my walls because I put him there. He got put there with all the others. I guess I didn't mean to do it, but I did. Oh, and BTW, I'm a lousy wall builder.
So, I've decided to work on the garden....literally. I'm going outside to work on the lawn… that is raking the leaves. But also I got challenged this last week to spend 30 min everyday in quiet with God. Yikes! I tell myself this is a lot of time but I know how much I need this time. So far this experiment has been really rewarding. This time alone has invited Him draw close and give him access to my garden; to tend to the vineyard of my soul.
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